Just mindless ideas: Zatoichi Kitsune
by The Swordslinger
Summary: Not sure if I'll really make a full story out of this, but enjoy it for what it is. This is something that came out of chatting with a few friends in the PMs. Two short stories as a tribute to my new found love, the Zatoichi films. This features a blind Naruto, and a Fem!Gaara, so you're warned.
1. Chapter 1

I OWN NOTHING

I fucking love yet dispassionately loathe my brain. It keeps on giving me ideas I just can't refuse for some strange reason.

**XXXXXX**

Just mindless ideas: Zatoichi Kitsune

"Wait right there." a voice said, making Hidan and Kakuzu stop to see someone walk to them in the sewers they had fought Yugito in, the whole place destroyed and letting them see the sky. The one who spoke was a man with golden hair in a spiky top-knot ponytail, whiskered cheeks, a tanned skin, and a deceptively lean but strong body. The man had his eyes half-lidded, enough so the duo saw how dead the color in his eyes was, signifying that he was blind. He even carried a red cane he moved around to guide himself. And yet, there was something off about this one man, beside his wardrobe of a black, orange-trimmed kimono with an orange sash and nothing on his feet but his bare, hardened skin. He didn't have any headband or scars on his body, yet his very aura made them feel uneasy.

"Oh, what's a little shit like you doing here?" Hidan asked, before his partner backhanded him on the chest.

"Idiot, that's the Kyuubi Jinchuuriki." the money-hungry Akatsuki whispered harshly to his partner.

The blond spoke a bit louder, "You two don't happen to see my partner, a certain Nii Yugito-chan?" the blond asked in a calm tone, he then raised his cane, carefully moving one thumb along the length until he sensed two grooves on it. "She's been nervous these days, saying she's spotted two angry and ugly fellows after her, and she's precious to me." the blond took out a blade from his cane, showing a glistening steel that carved for blood. "Mind letting her go? I dislike the smell of her blood mixed with her shampoo."

Hidan cackled and threw his three-bladed scythe at the blond, only to watch as the blind man jumped up and landed on top of the staff, running through the chain at the immortal. Naruto threw himself in the air and landed behind both Akatsuki members, slowly sheathing his sword. The duo growled and tried to attack him, only to grunt as both fell to the ground, Kakuzu's back sliced open, and Hidan missing his head. The two mentally cackled, Hidan internally hurrying his partner up to sneak behind the blind swordsman and take him out, which the greedy Akatsuki did. Their surprise was great when the blond turned and with a quick upward slash he sliced the stitched man's torso open, taking two hearts out.

"Two down, three to go." the blond said calmly, making Kakuzu gasp.

"H-How?"

The blind man smiled, his sword sheathed again, "I learned to trust a few things since I was left for dead in this village: what to trust and what to not trust. I trust the wind around me, and I trust my senses more than anything. You can try all you want to ambush me, but I can 'see' beyond what people with eyes ever could."

"Fuck you!" Hidan said, making Naruto sigh.

"It seems you're too stubborn to die, but fine, after what you did to my partner I will make you pay." the blond said coolly, taking out his sword with a few bangs covering half his face in shadows, giving him the image of a god of death.

Kakuzu snapped, "Let's see how cocky you are once I have your heart!"

He lunged at the blond, his body twisting and morphing into an horrid mass of black tendrils to rip the blind youth apart. But to his incredible fury, the blond kept on smiling and stood there. And just like that, he was gone. What Kakuzu saw were a few gales of wind around the blond, and then he had reappeared before him, his blade in one of his hearts, cutting up and then down in a diagonal slice, taking the other two remaining muscles out.

Hidan gasped in horror as Naruto wiped the blood off his sword, letting the hulking former human fall down, "I told you I can 'see' what you guys can't. Now, where's my partner, Mr. Head?"

"H-How?" the head asked, staring at the man before him in horror.

"I've trained." was all the reply Hidan got, before the blind swordsman moved his cane around, looking for him.

"W-Wait, you fu- K-Keep that thing away from me! You're gonna hit me! OW! Fuck! MY EYE! You did that on purpose! Hey, don't touch me, let me go!"

"So, where's my partner?" Naruto repeated as he kept the head under one arm, "She's around here, but where?"

"Why should I tell you?" the head asked, the sight of the blade made him reply, "Two steps to your right there's a ladder, she's down there."

"**Someone's coming.**"A voice said in his mind.

"Naruto-sama!" the blond heard, turning to the source, a genin team of one boy and two girls he recognized by their smell.

He let out a breath, calming his mind and letting his senses go wild, a pulse of his wind chakra letting him 'see' the chakra of the newcomers, allowing his eyes to receive and morph the information into the figures of a rather busty blonde girl with a bob-cut and her team of a tomboyish redhead with her hair flattened by what had to be a bandana and a boy whose mouth was slightly opened due to a candy or something similarly shaped in his mouth, making him smile, "You're a bit late, did anyone try to slow you down?" the blind man asked, making sure to keep the mouth shut by keeping the blade near his jaw.

Karui nodded, a bit sadly, "You know how some people are to you and Yugito-san. I'm sorry, master. If we had just ignored the council and gotten here, we could have prevented her from being attacked."

The blond man held up his cane, aiming it at where he knew the redhead was, "Hey, not your fault, Now, let's get Yugito out of trouble, I promised to cook sushi for her tonight." He said with a smile on his face.

Samui and Karui glared at that, thankful that the man who had been adopted, raised, trained and seen as an equal by their own sensei and Raikage couldn't see their jealousy towards the blonde Chunin woman. Adopted into a loving family, raised as a swordsman, trained in the ways to see and feel what others never could, this was Uzumaki Naruto, the Blind Fox.

XXXXXX

In the middle of the desert, a lone girl heard whistling. It was a truly lighthearted, happy, carefree whistling that moved in the wind along the sand. Everyone who was in the streets had gone hiding the instant she had appeared, knowing her and fearing her for what she was capable of. And yet, one man alone was whistling as if everything in the universe were perfect. She gave the man a hardened glare wanting him to shut up and leave her alone... until she noticed that he was blind.

The man stopped, turning his head and cane around as he felt... killer intent? He focused and let out a small wave of his chakra, a trick the fox in his gut taught him to "see" far better than any Hyuuga. He found several life signs hidden, but one in the middle of the street, the sound of the wind cut by her signaling she was the only one outside. The girl's chakra figure and signature went to his eyes thanks to his and the fox's chakra, letting him see a petite figure who due to the sound her clothes made with the wind seemed to be wearing a kimono, she also had lone, red hair and carried something large on her back that put extra effort in her step.

Gaia of The Sand, Jinchuuriki of the One-Tailed Raccoon, and pretty well known killing machine, narrowed her eyes at the figure. Whoever saw her could easily tell she was as dangerous as she was beautiful, her crimson hair matching her kimono, her eyes green like the plant life this place lacked, the dark rings under her eyes signaling her lack of sleep due to the demon inside her, and her bust small yet still big enough to be smothered. Her chest, with each breasts barely the size of an apple, was covered by a beige vest in which she carried the massive pumpkin that kept her sand in.

The man was a masseur if the sign on the back of his kimono was true. He moved his cane to her direction and walked towards her. Villagers gasped and closed their eyes, hoping that the man's death would be quick and painless. Gaia growled and let the man pass, seeing no purpose in fighting someone who didn't know who she was or who could be terrified of her powers. Even if her "mother" wanted blood, this seemed like a waste of her time.

That was, until the man spoke, "All that killing intent isn't gonna do you good." he whispered, standing by her side, lifting his cane in his left hand. "You could try to calm down, after all, it helped me and my friend in my gut." He said, hoping to listen to a response, only to listen to silence, making him sigh, "Well, this is just my day... I am sorry if I've upset you... You wouldn't happen to be mute, would you?" The girl remained silent, turning to him with a silent frown. Naruto chuckled, "So, I have your attention... or not? Either way, if you don't mind, would you kindly lead me to an inn or perhaps a nice restaurant? If you do, I'll treat you. I'd like to talk with you, maybe even help a fellow."

She knew something was wrong... This guy just ignored the aura of danger and murder surrounding her thanks to the Ichibi, that annoying Shukaku hussy kept on shouting to drink the man's blood in her head... And yet, this guy, blind or not, was treating her... nice?

She finally spoke, "Who are you and what do you want?" she said, directly to the point.

The blond chuckled, ruffling his spiky ponytail, "Oh, so you can speak, hehehe... Well... I want a nice bowl of ramen, since you asked." The girl growled, sending a sand spike at him, only to widen her eyes as the sand was instantly dodged by the man who tilted his head forward, sat down, and started to dust his kimono, "I could also use a hot-spring, or a bath at least for my aching feet to take a dip in cold water." he got back up, dodging a sand blade that could have gotten his head clean off his shoulders, "But I really want that ramen bowl." he said with a large grin.

Gaia and Shukaku blinked unison, unable to believe this guy just ignored the attacks on his life as if they were nothing when he must have had real skills to detect the redhead's killer intent on him. It just didn't get in their heads that this guy could act so nonchalant and avoid death like that. He had to know about their attacks!

However, every single villager seemed to think the guy was truly this insanely lucky... So Gaia did something she never thought she would, "Ramen sounds nice..."

Naruto grinned from ear to ear, "My treat, if you could tell those shinobi around us to let us be." he said, motioning with his head to her more endowed sister and her puppeteer brother. Gaara sent them a nod, telling them silently she could handle things herself. The duo had their doubts but left, knowing her wrath was greater than that of their father. Though Temari did send a few glances at the handsome man in the samurai outfit. She wondered if she could get a fine massage from the blond masseur.

**XXXXXX**

**And that's my rap! Sorry, but this was an idea I got after stumbling upon Zatoichi, hands down one of my top ten favorite heroes. Then I chatted with a few friends, I made these short little stories, and I'm not sure whether or not I really wanna make a fic out of this. It could work, with Naruto having Daredevil senses to "see" more than anyone ever could, even more than a Hyuuga, him having the skills to kill every motherfucker who crosses his way in a single slash, and yet having the cheerful, optimistic attitude of his canon self with far more maturity behind it all.**

**What you have read is based in the badass that is Zatoichi: a man using the mask of a harmless fool, capable of killing every single man with dark intentions with just one simple hit. I guess that's what drew me to Zatoichi, the loveable blind badass and the realistic battles. Not over-stretched anime fights, but realistic sword fights that end as soon as one of the fighters has blood drawn out of his body.**

**Still as I said I'm not sure what to do here, either go through canon Naruto (and finally make a fic to cleanse my palate from the bad taste Kishimoto's Uchiha loving dick left) or a crossover with Samurai Jack, Muramasa: The Demon Blade, or maybe even Afro Samurai.**

**This idea needs a lot of thought, but for what it is despite its shortness I wanted to share it. Now back to my other fics.**

**Swordslinger out!**


	2. Chapter 2

Well, I've finally decided to go forth with this idea. Check it out as Zatoichi Kitsune. I'll warn you, there were some changes, but the main idea is to see a Zatoichi inspired Naruto wandering the world to have fun while taking down whoever harms an innocent. Main pairing will be Naruto x Yugito for those of us who want to see him massage her and getting her to purr. Now stop thinking about that and pull your hand outta your pants so you can read the prologue.


End file.
